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so it’s my birthday in a week … why am i not excited?

Stop smoking…

jlote:

…i won’t bury my friends.

i’m working on it. haha

sched.

so dr. campbell yelled at mikulski and so did mascavage. i love them. he hugged me and said everything will be okay. im pretty sure we’re getting married. no big.

chemical research, chemical seminar, physics 2, pchem 1, yoga, & independent study with Dr. Campbell or Advanced Organic.

funfunfunfun

dear arcadia, i hate you, love kim

my advisor told me i wasn’t getting into graduate school. he said i should have taken pchem and been a BS major. HOWEVER, sir, you have NEVER had time to meet with me before let alone GUIDE me in the right direction of life. i planned all of my classes. all my reqs are done. gen eds done. pre-reqs for my grad program done. nowwwww you want me to take up 3 extra classes that i don’t have time for, nor are they offered in the spring. fucking fantastic. so i may not graduate in the spring as i had hoped. and i probably won’t get into grad school because i’m a BA instead of a BS. even though i have a decent GPA, GRE scores, and i’m super involved in school. basically mikulski said it was my fault for graduating in 3 years or else this wouldn’t have been a problem. i really just want to lay down and cry. i feel like ive worked too damn hard to not get what i want. selfish? maybe. but if i set goals i am determined as hell to go out and achieve them.

also. my aunt is dying. the last thing she said to my mom is that i have turned into a pretty girl. haha. my bitch of a grandmother is at my house harassing my brother who just got out of the hospital. i am not invited to the wedding in india because i am a bad representation of the family.

im pretty sure when it rains … it pours.

guy fawkes

in uni stiriling the kids just burnt a dummy at the stake and ate candied apples. i miss europe.

he said i love you. i hope he means it.

this whole acting like a girl thing is killing me. people don’t intimidate me. normally im a confident person. but i feel vulnerable and terrified … somehow i can’t walk away.